I've been really quiet on twitter as I had another class this morning and worked my butt off (just shy of!).
So...I *don't* do mornings...not 7.30 in the bloody morning anyway. But work beckons, and I obey. I donned the usual (picture if you've not seen what i wear..well half of it anyway, taken yesterday on the way home) with headphones firmly on and followed the masses as we all migrated over the underground tubular plane of transportation.
I walked towards the station, with a twee spring in my step even if it was slightly spitting with rain. But getting into the main ticket office, my heart leaped up into the upper region of my mouth, pounding incessantly. There were about 5 British Transport Police Officers standing at the barriers monitoring the general hustle and bustle of the station.
The only reason a slight stage of paranoia tried to settle in, is because I'm not a confrontational person. I hate them...really, really hate them. If I'm not doing anything wrong, then why bother me in the first place? Still, I took a deep breath (topped up my oyster card) and walked on like there was nothing wrong, went up to the barrier and "used the force" to pass through.
The little voice in my head was going, "Oh f**k, oh f**k, oh f**k" ad infinitum. But I kept on walking till I reached the escalator and that was when I was allowed to relax. I can honestly say I was rather shocked at my own reaction as they've helped me loads in the past, and well they're human! Ho-hum, off to the platform to wait to be packed into a sardine tin...
In "normal" circumstances, I'd probably grumble about being squished by people and usually having my head knocked by someone who didn't realise they were about to miss their stop and dash off the tube leaving a wake of disgruntled passengers. There was no such incident today. Instead, my usual little corner just next to the door was available.....being small has it's advantages. And I watched people come on and off the tube. A lot of them had their blinkers on, and a few noticed but where being swept on board and moved down the carriage en mass leaving no time to confirm if what they'd seen was true.
One girl who was stood opposite me, lifted her book in my direction and proceeded to dissect me into pieces with her beady eyes from behind the safety of her romantic drama novel. I laughed...top marks for trying to hide that you're staring at someone!
Now considering the mesh I've sewn in, to see things/people, I'm pretty sure people can see me looking at them? The previous picture shows that you can see my face...as does this one:
On the tube, with one person (behind me, hidden deliberately) in the entire carriage.
So, if they know I'll see them staring at..say my legs, because I look differently, it means they totally don't mind being caught looking??
Seems to be the case. As such I've become more aware of myself on the tube...and the fact that i generally just look down, away (or close my eyes) like every other Londoner. As much as I'm sure it's probably some introverted paranoia or something, I'm putting it down to not being able to play Tetris on my phone whilst on "mah journeh".
So got out to Oakwood this time. That's one stop from the end of the Piccadilly line out in zone 5, which is pretty far out (for my central self anyway...). And was blindly following the gps on my phone. When I caught this elderly fellow contorting in front of me.
My initial thought was, "my God!!..is he having a stroke?!" and took one of my headphone cans to one side to hear him saying, "Can you see me through that??" with a big grin on his face. I replied, "Oh aye, that I can!" (yes I say "aye"...) grinning back in equal measure. We both shared a laugh/giggle and he patted me on the shoulder on his way saying, "yer alright, fella".
Just in case you missed it first time round, I'm a girl :-). But that's what's great about wearing the big ass jacket I do, and the Zentai. Absolutely NO gender what so ever. So I giggled at his comment too.
I managed to find the place with relative ease and I had already told the tutor what I was doing so she was well prepared. I don't think the rest of the class were told and it was amusing to observe their bodily response as I was talking to the tutor as though this was normal (well it is, but you know). After a while about 2 or 3 people actually stopped talking and just stared, probably wondering what the hell is going on.
You could feel the slight tension in the room dissipate as the hood came down mid-conversation. I asked one person who seemed particularly irked, "Sorry, did my outfit upset you??" to which he responded, "uh, no! Not at all, it's just...different, I've never seen it before..."
Fair play to the man!
Not much to report other than pushing my 2-minute super bendy vocabulary to new heights. The break came around which was great (need that coffee!!) and the previous gentleman learned me a thing or two...
I'd completely forgotten about the debate currently going on in France. Even though the main issues (reportedly anyway) are the concerns about "religious freedom, female equality and secular traditions"...we all know that in the current climate, the lack of facial identifiers and the fear to go with it is down to terrorism.
I don't want to get political (seriously, I don't....I'm far from politically charged) but even before I started this that aspect has always been there. And I've always worried about Zentai (or..*shudders* morphsuits....what the hell is that all about?! Since when is Zenshin Taitsu (Zentai) a morphsuit??) and if it would ever be misappropriated and seen in a negative light - i.e. supporting terrorist acts and such. I really, really, REALLY hope that doesn't happen...EVER. It's already happened to the balaclava, where the only place it's acceptable is in cold places (and associated with skiing and such). If you're not in that environment...and you walk into a normal corner shop?? ...yeah.
Still, very good points raised and taken on board. So much so I wanted to go down to the local police station and just pick some one's brain about it (hood down though, so someone can talk to me properly, without any preconceived notions or whatever).
With the class over and done with - and not really happy about taking my hood off to drink/eat - I ventured to Bond street...to go to MacCullough and Wallis. I've been there a few times before, wearing the same gear...but with a face. This time i was on a simple mission: elastic for my finger mods, and a zip for my face.
I went up to the level where all that is, and was milling around being distracted by all sorts of awesome things. I eventually found a concealed zipper, a bit big, but not an issue then went to pick the brains of the shop assistants on my magic finger problem...
As I was on a roll about explaining my situation, the first shop assistant just went with the flow and tried helping as much as she could, but I don't think she's too actively involved in sewing and haberdashery and what not. So she called another assistant who must have recognised my voice, as she smiled and looked straight into my eyes as I spoke to her. She responded as normal and was amazingly helpful! I did ask if they had any smaller zips, but they didn't :-(
So I got that, and made my way out, only to hear, "excuse me!" ...I turned around to see a funky looking lady rolling up a cigarette with a bag full of fabrics and other bits and bobs looking directly at me. "Uh hai" I said. She asked me, "are you looking for really small zips and stuff?" I nodded. She proceeded to inform me of a few places where they have boxes of what I'm after. I was eternally grateful and she went on her way as I did mine.
I was thinking about getting the tube home, but decided I'd get the bus as I'd not been on the bus in Zentai for a while and not with this mesh thing either. I don't know how long it took to get home, but I took a mild detour to my local corner shop. The guy at the till was the same from yesterday (I popped in there at one point yesterday) and I asked him if my wearing what I wore worried him? He said, "Only if you burgle me" I laughed nervously but then said, "there's no way, I'm pretty local to you and at 4 in the morning you're my life line". He laughed, gave me my bag and my change and I went home.
With a bit of an afternoon left, I hand washed my zentai and left it to hang over a mini flurry of fan heaters (not ON...that would be stupid) whilst I had a nekkid snooze and a bit of a think about definitely needing to make another suit (blue apparently is favoured over another black one) and HAVING to make my Na'vi Zentai for Torture Garden next week (eek!).
Sooo....yeah. Loads to think about and I'm going swimming tomorrow morning (seriously I am...AND, not being a morning person, I'm going to go at 6.30 in the morning...kids don't go and pee in the pool that early do they?)
..I fancy a dance...