Monday, 1 February 2010

First day's end: Red faces and irrational fear

OK I know this is late but I was absolutely exhausted by the time I got home...

Anyway, I didn't get up to all that much. Just to a food store around the corner (bigger than a corner shop, smaller than a supermarket) and work in the evening.

Going to buy food was pretty painless really. I walked through the automatic doors and felt my heart start racing slightly, as I got a small basket and went down the small flight of stairs I took a few deep breaths and just trundled on like I usually do. Everything is fine!

So I'm walking around getting bits and bobs, and this and that whilst looking at how people are reacting to this "faceless" person. Most took a triple take, some jumped slightly whilst the odd person straight up refused to stand in the same aisle as me and walked somewhere else.

Waited in the cue with everyone else...and noticed a man behind the counter - whom I presumed was the supervisor over the cashiers - was pointing at me whilst talking to someone else. I was tempted to wave back at him but I'd drop my milk if I did!! The cashier lady who got stuck with me (Please go to Till No. 1) seemed pretty straight faced. I said hello in the usual way I do (which is mostly energetic but not psychotic) and she responded in equal measure, put my stuff in a bag, I paid and that was that!

As it's my local, I'm hoping it won't be an issue.

Next was heading down to Plaistow to work for a few hours. The light was pretty dim by 3.45pm but - as you may have noticed - the mesh I've sewn in has a 95% visibility rate so it's not an issue at all. I got to the tube station, and swiped in as normal (I keep my oyster card in my glove(s) so I'm not constantly looking for it. Plus!!! I get to "use the force" to open the barriers) and went down the escalators as opposed to standing by one side. A lot of bemused faces in the opposite direction :-)

As this was just shy of rush hour, there were a good few people in the tube and of course trying to put two-and-two together was on their mind. I'd probably do the same if I saw someone wearing Caterpillar boots, black rolled up sports socks...lycra leggings, a massive 3/4 length jacket, the same lycra on their face, a beanie and headphones...wait what's wrong with their face?

And this, is where two people seemed to have gotten stuck. One man got on the tube and sat next to me....RIGHT next to me. I don't know how long it took but his glare was burning a hole in my lycra! (figuratively) So I turned and faced him directly and said..."hellloooo???" to which he kinda choked, took his bag and sat else where. I tried to keep quiet, I really did. But I burst out laughing.

Then noticed a long line of dirt on my jacket...clearly the force is not strong in this jacket.

Next, close to Plaistow but not quite, a younger man got on and seemed to have some valuable piece of material in a bag, one could only presume was a drycleaned garment of some description. I didn't pay much attention to him, as he was *just* within my field of view.

Until he moved to the other side of the carriage. Where by he couldn't help but stare, mouth wide open right at me. Even with me looking at him, he just kept on gawping. So I tilted my head to one side and waved rather emphatically. I think he turned every shade of red before hitting crimson. Ruffling his little tabloid paper with as much concentration as he could muster, frowning like he were holding a penny in between the furrows of his brow, he turned away only to find me standing behind him....this stop was Plaistow. He froze momentarily (probably thought I was going to do something to him? I don't know) and I just brushed by him as I was running late. He followed and kept up with me up until the barriers. Like a true Jedi, I willed the barriers open and disappeared before he could catch up...

Ah...At work, slightly late but no bother. The folks there were bemused, enticed and equally scared sh*tless by what I was wearing. I asked the lady - who couldn't look at me as she spoke to me - what exactly it was about what I was wearing that freaked her out so much. For the most part it's the lack of identifiers on the face (eyes, ears, cheeks, nose, mouth, chin, jawline etc.) that freaks people out but she said that wasn't it...she just "couldn't look" at me. I tried to get her to elaborate but there were more important things to do, and I don't like making people uncomfortable if there's no way of rationalising something (no time to figure that one out).

So I got asked to keep my suit on for the first half and these are some of the images that resulted:

From my POV, it was certainly stupendously different from the norm! I enjoy being naked (if you've not figured it out, you never will) and the interactive way I respond to classes and vice versa...However, wearing the Zentai suit encouraged a focussed mental dissociative state which resulted in me being aware of my outer body as opposed to how my body was holding a pose (external versus internal). Does that make sense? Probably not. It's hard to explain something that was profoundly felt I guess.

That left me in a little bit of a daze and the rest of the class proceeded as normal (as in totally buck nekkid, hehe).

I failed to mention the security guard as I entered the building. He knows who I am but obviously with no face (but the same jacket) he ignored me until he heard my voice. I sort of understood but was still a bit perplexed as to his not even opening the window. It all became clear when I had a chat with him on the way out (further explaining my erm..."performance"? a 28 day performance? I think not) and his reasoning was due to an altercation that involved balaclava's quite recently, his guard clearly was hightened. As I was tired, I bade him adieu and he wished me luck with it.

The journey home was standard, and I actually can't remember anything significant as I think I had pretty much switched off by then...autopilot is GO!

After a rather mentally stretching first day, I can truely say I'm shattered...


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